Sunday, April 02, 2006

A lesson in self help

Well kids its seems in this modern world of ours, that everything and everyone is better at doing absolutely anything than anyone else. So you would think that it would be eay for some helpless sap, on the street to find some help when he needs a better job, or he feels unwanted at home, but no, there is a vast expanse of absolute useless information out there for you to partake in. This modern world of ours is so full of absolutely anything that finding help when you need it, useful help that is, is about as easy as force a small spainish child to eat an entire panda bear, (Trust me its hard).

So what is the solution to finding useful information, well the internet is not, apart from a few glorious oasis's of intelligence, like this one, there is nothing to be found on the internet apart from porn and recipes for certain things, not always edible. Books, well if you have time to turn to books and actually read them they could be useful but do you have time to read a book and walk the dog, make the evening meal while staving off advances from a morbidly obese partner, no of cousre you dont.

We are left with one answer ah the tv, that source of all things good in the world, the only tool any modern human being needs to survive in the world today. Yes thats right your weight problems will be cured if you turn on the tv and sit down on the couch. The numerous adverts for weightloss products will no doubt provide the inspiration to get off the couch and ring the number on your screen. Your Family problems will melt away if you just stop talking to your spouse long enough to watch Dr Phil, tell some couple from texas that they need to talk to each other more. Yes folks the solution is on that screen in the lounge room, nothing can be solved without the valuable help of those people on the tv, so next time you have some spare time why dontyou spend it with the most important member of your family...