Saturday, August 09, 2008

Saturday Serial

Part 1 is here Part 6 is here
Part 2 is here Part 7 is here
Part 3 is here Part 8 is here
Part 4 is here
Part 5 is here

Part 9
We slide back into our tale of horror and awe as Dad Archie and mom flee from Fellows Rock, in Dads fine example of American automobile. Taking the curves gracefully, winding back through the harsh desert to the familiarity of suburbia. Archie in the backseat pipes up again.

“So who’s Billy and Scruffs?” He asks.

“Scruffs… oh you wait till you meet him, a mans best friend, obedient loyal, able to be trained to do whatever you want, and Billy’s my son” Dad answers back, turning around and making eye contact the way every man should when talking to someone.

“Shouldn’t we go back and find them, they could be in terrible danger” Archie says with a worried sound in his voice.

“Nonsense, Billy is a Junior Ranger, and Scruffs has been trained quite well. Besides it will do him could to deal with a little adversity… toughen him up make a man out of him” Dad replies knowingly as the boys father.

“How old is he?” Archie inquires.

“Nine… old enough to kill a man with a rusty bayonet” Dad answers back glowering from beneath his trim svelte American eyebrows. Archie nods in agreement and looks out the window, watching the scenery wiz past quickly. This sure was a great car, it may not have all the safety features and gadgets than in the foreign models. But he felt safe in the knowledge no commie had ever laid his dirty pinko hands on this fine vinyl upholstery.

Meanwhile, back in the desert, Billy and Scruffs still duck and cover somewhere beneath the earth in the abandoned mineshaft. Billy hearing that the rumbling has stopped decides it’s safe to continue exploring. Scruffs sitting next to him with his paws flopped over his snout does the same and the two move off further into the shaft.

“Hey Scruffs what do you say we try and find another way out of here, mom will be real mad if were not back in time for dinner” Billy says to Scruffs, Scruffs barks back once in agreement, mom was sweet and real pretty, but like all women, was unfortunately susceptible to emotional outbursts. Billy moves off and then says “Quick this way Scruffs”

And the two move on, winding their ways through fallen girders and mounds of dirt and rocks. Billy with his Indian dagger in his hand, Scruffs alert and in the lead guarding against any surprise encounters.

“Hey Scruffs, you reckon I could use this dagger to get the penny out of my ear?” Billy asks, Scruffs pauses for a second before replying.

“Arf… bark, bark” He woofed, with a knowledge far greater than his years and species.

“Yeah, it’s a bit dirty isn’t it, maybe I should try with a clean one if I find one” Billy replied, lucky to have a dog so smart clever and American. Scruffs is well aware that only clean daggers should be stuck in the ears. What will become of Billy, will he ever become a man, he has a rusty blade, will he kill a man? Will Archie ever figure out who ate his lunch last Thursday, will mom and Dad get their dog back… tune in next week.

Ever wanted to pretend to be a giant communist invader, fancy a brand new hat, got some disposable income then check this out! Brand new to The Discreet Store is the BRAND NEW, ‘Attack of the 80 foot Communist military cap’, impress your friends, suppress Democracy, look fashionable, it’s all possible with this brand new item. But while your there make sure you check out the rest of the ultra fashionable items, such as shirts, aprons, clocks and assorted other crap. has never stuck a diry dagger in its ear, its just not hygenic...

Member of, like what you just read, do you have a blade lodged in your head? Before you pass out or die, spend your final moments here and vote for some of my other posts.


  1. Phew, thank heavens he has a rusty dagger, I just know he'll be alright now..

  2. The hat is tempting. I need to make up some Mattress Police hats.

  3. Shrinky- Of course theres barely a creature alive today that will attack a small boy with a rusty dagger.

    Diesel- They are rather snazzy arent they, I hear the guy that designed them is ruggedly handsome, or at least handsomely rugged.


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