Thursday, September 25, 2008

Sphinctorial Response: A Weighty Conundrum

I’m confused kids, no not that way. And if anyone tells you other wise about a drunken weekend in Sydney then they are lying, plus it’s not gay if you don’t remember it. I’m confused about the media, really nothing different then is it, its one aspect of the media that has me this time. Well aspect, I really mean attitude. Who here would like to weigh a little less, be honest put your hand up, if your at work feel free to yell out, ‘yes I’m a giant fatty’. You don’t have to be a giant fatty, but do it anyway if you like. I know I’d like to be thinner.

The media’s attitude towards weight is a really puzzling one to me, especially when it comes to ladies. Now on one hand we have that whole obesity epidemic, don’t we. I’m guessing you have heard of it, big problem in most westernised countries. And let’s face it if your sitting down blogging wondering why you’re sweating from typing… that problem may be yours. There are government programs and adverts (at least in Australia there are) to encourage people to be active everyday and eat right.

And even Oprah is getting in on it with that Dr Oz bloke that comes on and tells people how to poop straight, it’s all very fascinating, helpful to hopefully. Actually everyone get up and give me twenty push ups, I’ll wait…

One of the Dove 'Real Women*'

Done, good now lets continue. So all that’s well and good people tell you to exercise, but here is where it gets confusing. They are also telling you to be happy with your body image, to embrace your curves and lumps and get on with being emotionally happy. I’m guessing most of you have heard about the socially minded people at Dove who are doing that whole real women advertising campaign. Aren’t they nice showing women that they shouldn’t be ashamed of their bodies. And they shouldn’t, but here is the kicker, I’m willing to bet there isn’t a doctor or nutritionist in the world that’s not going to say a few of those girls should trim down a little.

Oh yes its great it’s getting women to be more at ease with their appearance, but then we get back to the other hand where the media is screaming about everyone being to fat again. So what are we meant to be doing, being comfortable with who we are, or hitting the track for some sweat time.

Ah Trinny and Susannah, those two British slags that have made a living informing people they suck because they can’t match their pants with their shirt. Much like ‘Queer Eye’ used to but without the overpowering sexism of straight men being shit dressers because they didn’t have a penchant for brown love. What, that wasn’t the message of that show? Five gay blokes show one straight man how to get laid by dressing like them, so women want to sleep with gay men… see this is why men have sex with park benches, its far less confusing.

Showing straight men that women hate them since 2003

And then Carson Kresslys new show, which is the worst of the lot. Yes its all very emotionally uplifting, be happy with your curves and all that crap. What isn’t uplifting though is dying 30 years to young from heart diseases clutching a half eaten sponge cake to your bosom. It’s like some one having a show telling people they should smoke because it keeps them thin and makes them look cool.

And Oprah does it to, Ms Yoyo diet herself. Whenever she’s fat it’s embrace the curves and whenever she sheds some extra tonnage its whoop, whoop for dieting and proper exercise. What the fuck are we meant to be aiming for, is it any wonder young girls are confused about how they should look. Are they meant to be keeping slim or letting it all go whilst being ‘real’ women?

Who do you think is healthier, your average supermodel sans possible coke habit. Or chubby ‘real’ girl from the Dove adverts. I’ll wait, use your calculators if you have to, exactly! Who do you think? There’s so much in the media about models being to skinny, and then people keep pulling this shit about being comfortable with who you are. Being comfortable with who you are gets you diabetes apparently.

Witty caption needed... I think not!

Can we just have some middle ground, there seems to be just one extreme and then the other. It’s incredibly simplistic and stupid, to just say go and lose some weight, it’s a hard thing to do. But this whole being who you are crap is how we got here, here being a giant fat sweaty mongoloid, huffing Twinkies and drinking coke zero ‘cause its got no sugar’. Sure be happy with who you are, but at least make sure who you are, isn’t ‘Island Of Dr Moreau’ era Marlon Brando. You don’t have to be wafer thin to be fit, just make sure you are fit is my point.

The media needs to lift its game and get some sort of consensus. Fashion isn’t the problem, models aren’t the problem, actresses being tiny little stick freaks, isn’t the problem. The media not having a clue what’s talking about is the problem, and maybe I’m the same, but they can’t keep saying two opposing things and expect people not to get the wrong message.

*What else is worrying is that Dove just assumes there arent any 'real' skinny women out there. I know its more about skin care and age, but the applied assumption that if your not a rowdy chubby chick your not 'real' has to be insulting doesn't it! is an emotional eater...

Member of, like what you just read? Want to see real women doing... stuff! Well then go here and vote for some of my other posts.


  1. what was the 'stolen' image?

  2. Whatchu talking about nurse?

    Which pic is it?

  3. Did you mean to put a "stolen" pic up there or is this some new trick from the internet?

  4. We need to establish the boundaries between being curvy and being fat.

  5. I'm on a new sex diet. It has it's ups and downs. Burns a lot of calories but my wrist is very sore. Still, I'd recommend it.

  6. VE- I wish someone would tell me what the hell everyone is talking about, which pic is it? I can see them all!!!

    RenalFailure- I think Mikka's onto something there

    Les James- I'm on that diet to, its easier of you can use both hands.


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